On Exhaling.

You are still mine. No one else’s.

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The Rules have been  updated.

What a tumultuous fucking month. It will spare you the details of betrayal (it knows Master would call that dramatic, but it’s true, it promises), heartache and loss.

It almost lost Master as well.  In the last two weeks it has been through more than in the last two months of it’s marriage.

It was patient as it is compelled to be.  It knew it’s Master was going through so much, but it didn’t know how to help so it just waited.  And read.

It read:

Siddhartha by Hermann Hesse

The Tao is Silent by Raymond M. Smullyan

and

Writing the Fiction Series by Karen S. Wiesner

It had been holding it’s breath for those entire few weeks, waiting on it’s Master to dismiss it. 

Master: You okay now?

It: Mostly.  It will be.  Time heals everything. Are you okay?

Master: No, but I will be.  Part of me does not want this over, but the other knows I need to.

It: It’s always been up to you.

Master: You’re wrong.  It was about you for me.  Maybe not on your side, but for me it was.

It: It didn’t know.

Master: I know.  I wanted to push you.  Explore you.  Open your eyes.  Make you see yourself; how amazing you are without the need for others.

It: It is not out of the woods yet, but it is on a path at least.  Ultimately, you have to do what’s best for you and if that’s keeping it, then great.  If it’s not, then okay.  Thank you.

Master: For?

It: Trying.  You were it’s first which, let’s be honest, from it is hard to come by, lol.  First Master, first it ever allowed anyone to all it: it or slave. The first it ever put so much effort into.  The first it didn’t want to hurt, that it actually wanted to know.  The first it cared about.

Master: Thank you.  You are still mine.  No one else’s.  Minx, you’re mine,  I will try to put in more effort too.

It: Now, maybe it can stop holding it’s breath now?

Master: Yes, you can.

 

And simply like that, it let itself go again and allowed itself to trust it’s Master once more.  It was finally able to exhale after weeks of fire in it’s lungs.

Thank YouMaster. 

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