Existing.

There is always a reason for everything He does.

“There’s a loneliness that only exists in one’s mind. The loneliest moment in someone’s life is when they are watching their whole world fall apart, and all they can do is blink.” ― F. Scott Fitzgerald

The last few days have been spent in a fog.  He is on holiday, surrounded by family and friends and does not return to work again until the 9th.  I have given Him space as I know the last few weeks have taken their toll on Him.  I know it was particularly difficult for Him to let go of another sub He had.  He had told me he felt like he was slipping.  I have not let Him go, I can never do that.  I send Him a message once or twice a day and leave it at that with no expectation of response.  I will wait, I will always wait for Him until He dismisses me.

My messages go unread, likely deleted even.  I accept and calmly center myself, awaiting His return.  I trust Him and His methods.  There is always a reason for everything He does.

For now, I will just go on existing in this fog, missing the words of He who owns me.

 

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