The funny thing about the truth is that it holds so much power. A person gives a part of themselves every time they speak it. When it finally decided to allow itself to let go of the lies it was like the release of a long held breath.
it still lies, just not to Him.
it still lies, just not to itself anymore. At least, it is making it’s best attempt in that regard. Perhaps losing itself in a way it never has before will allow for a much needed rebirth.
Today’s truth: the loneliness is overwhelming.
It is a cliche and it is fully aware of that truth, but rather than snub it’s nose at a feeling that isn’t unique, it will embrace that feeling. It is alone even when it is surrounded by people, but at least then it has a distraction. It is when the darkness comes and the silence invades it’s ears that it feels the weight of it’s loneliness.
Since it was 14 it had looked for comfort in the arms of men. Now it looks to coursers and notifications to sate it’s loneliness.
It is trying.
It isn’t always so melancholy. In fact, all day it was delighted in the company of people and it’s work.
The voices come without warning, though and it feels a familiar ache and it wants to dull the ache, but it knows better now than to give in to such self-destructive behavior.
Thus, it put on a rubber band on it’s wrist and when they are too loud, it snaps. Snap-snap-snap, until they’re quiet.
It is a start. The truth often is ugly. It is mundane. It is not worth the eyes of another. It is here anyway.